41 thoughts for 41 years
23) My gift to my loyal readers
I just had my 41st Birthday earlier this month. It was on July 06. Usually people get gifts on their birthday, but I’m shifting the paradigm. So, here is my gift to you, my readers! 41 thoughts for 41 years.
When you see a (star) * next to a number, it denotes that there will be a video displayed later on in the essay to highlight that summary/sentiment.
EXCERPT: As you can see, I started numbering my posts on Substack. This 41st birthday celebration post is post #23 among my Substack stories. (Those numbered in roman numerals were initially published on WordPress).
SECTION I, #1-7: The foundation of my life. This is the bedrock and it can’t be shaken
*1 - Life looks incredibly different from the outside looking in: This is a primary reason why I find social media to not always be such a good thing for our society. Only the highlight reels on people’s FB and IGs are posted. But, we all have our fair share of trials, tribulations and setbacks (sometimes major ones).
2 - Mindset is so important: How am I approaching each day, each moment? I know for myself this is always an area I’m constantly working on, overcoming from personal setbacks and remaining mentally strong and agile. (Still way easier said than done!)
3 - Family first! And, family looks however it is supposed to look: The five most important people in my life are my two daughters’, my father, and the two mothers’ to both my kids. I’m single, and that’s fine. But, my kids obviously come first, and they need and deserve all the love they can get. An effective co-parenting relationship (two in my case) are vital for mine and my children’s success. As for my father, well, we both have dealt with a lot of loss, having my mom pass away in 2015, and my one and only sibling (my older sister) pass away in 2020.
*4a- Express Gratitude: This is something I am actually going to make it a point to do more so publicly. It’s a superpower that makes the world go round.
4b - Empower yourself and others: Sometimes you just need someone to hype you up!
*5 - Never give up! This is true in the classroom and in life: The world looks favorably upon people who always show that fighting spirit, no matter what.
6 - Finish the job!
*7 - When trouble is afoot - Best to “Get out of the Way!” When someone is literally or even figuratively going to throw something at you in an attempt to inflict harm on you, it’s important to protect yourself! Sometimes, the best protection is just getting the heck out of the way. (#7 should actually be a category all by itself!)
SECTION II, #8-11: All relatable stuff. This is 99.9999% as important as 1-7
8 - In praise of self praise: If no one is giving you a pat on the back, it’s okay if you give yourself that pat on the back. (In a lot of ways it’s a vital skill to gain mastery of).
9(a) - I’m (trying to be) my own best friend: I don’t need to impress you, really I don’t, Nor do I really care to. This is one of the most liberating spaces to be in. If anything, I would say one of the joys of nearing middle-age (for me at least) is the simple fact that I just don’t need your approval. Hence, why it’s even more important for me to be my own best friend.
9(b) - Self love is the best love! It doesn’t matter how much people like me, if I don’t even like myself that much: To be my own best friend is the best gift I could ever give myself. I’m actually learning how to be that type of person for myself. It’s a skill I wish I really focused on developing from childhood, but sometimes we get late starts in life on certain things. It’s still a worthwhile endeavor!
10 - To err is human, to forgive is divine - Man, am I a jerk sometimes: No other way to put this. There are people in my life that love me and have always had my best interest at heart, and I have pushed them away. One of the most recent and glaring examples is of relatives who were trying their best for me in managing my dad’s care. Suzie, and Jaime in particular. I’m sorry I wasn’t always as mature as I should have been in speaking with you in you both assisting me with my dad’s care.
11 - There is no age limit on leadership: I’m only 41 years old, and I have been managing my dad’s care for three years: Most people I know managing their parents' care are in their 50s and 60s. I've been doing this since my late 30s. It’s okay. I’m still pretty young to be managing this. But, I got this.
FROM SECTION I: *1- Life looks incredibly different from the outside looking in.
SECTION III, #12- 21 & 23: Life is in the details
12 - Don’t let the mail pile-up. This at times feels like the equivalent of grading student work for me. When I get it done, I feel on top of the world. When it spirals, it really spirals.
13 - Automation is nice, but some annoying phone calls are needed.
14 - If you get 4-5 text messages from 4-5 different people at once, I know that sh*t overwhelms me, but it’s not the world trying to contact me, but I know that in those moments, as nice as it would be to chuck my phone as far away from myself as possible, a deep breath is all that is warranted.
15 - Customer service people are only human. If you thank them for their service, and really mean it, you just inevitably have a much more pleasant interaction with these people.
16 - Cultivate a strong team of people to surround yourself with.
17 - Your gift to the world isn't being everyone’s friend, but rather conducting yourself in a way that sets a good example for everyone.
18 - A good night's sleep helps cure many ills.
19 - A good workout clears the mind more than (almost) anything.
20 - Most people, honestly, aren't nearly as worried about what you got going on, because they are too worried about their own stuff . If people paid even half as much attention thinking about me as I spend thinking about me, that would be a heck of a lot of time somebody else is thinking about me. And that would actually be really weird. This is especially weird if you aren’t my spouse/significant other or parent. https://medium.com/the-ascent/research-confirms-that-no-one-is-really-thinking-about-you-f6e7b09c458
21 - If you need me to do a task, ask me in the morning, by the evening time, my brain is shut-off, and I’m dealing with serious decision fatigue.
23 - As you can see from my archives page, I started numbering my posts on Substack. This 41st birthday celebration post is post #23 among my Substack stories. (Those numbered in roman numerals were initially published on WordPress). Obviously, it would have been cool if this was actually my 41st Substack post. But, that would require me to write 18 more posts to get up to this one. And that wasn’t going to happen before the end of my birthday month of July. Only person I can think of (on Substack) that is that prolific of a writer is Freddie deBoer!
FROM SECTION 1: *4a- Express Gratitude
SECTION IV: #22 & 24-28, “Just plain awesome things about life!”
22 - Ice cream is the best dessert ever! Yet my little (2 year old) daughter still doesn’t know what to make of it. I don’t get it.
*24 - I love summers!
25 - There are some things I’m really into, and really love, that some people just don’t care about. That's okay. https://www.mic.com/articles/104224/science-reveals-why-we-re-obsessed-with-watching-sports
26 - A really good hot dog is better than a mediocre hot-dog. But any hot-dog is better than no hot-dog. I personally prefer Walter’s! http://www.waltershotdogs.com/
27 - If you could legit make me laugh, you will win my heart over. This is even true (maybe even especially true) if it’s a corny joke at my expense.
28 - Smiling people are the best people.
From Section I: *7- When trouble is afoot - Best to Get out of the Way!
SECTION V, #29-34: Complicated things about life!
29(a) - Politics just doesn’t fit into a neat line.
29(b) - Politics is a lot like social media - best in small doses (if at all). https://www.studyfinds.org/american-politics-feel-sick/
30 - America is so screwed up when it comes to guns! The illusion of safety is just a matter of luck and chance. And yet, enough Americans are fixated on their guns that hopelessness around this often pervades.
31 - People that think Trump will be re-appointed to the White House during Joe Biden’s first term, remind me of the most zealot cult of Jesus followers you could ever come across. These “Extreme Trumpers” religion is QAnon. Q for short. https://www.cnet.com/news/misinformation/qanon-explained-q-returns-after-18-months-of-silence/
32- Being able to have difficult conversations is such a useful skill. Controversial issues should not be avoided: We all need practice in this, even those of us who have had years of practice. https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-have-difficult-conversations
33- Has the illuminati or the bildenberg group played a role in outlawing abortion? Even though, not that long ago, the media and scientists used to always speak of over-population, now there is a concern for a stagnant population. Have the puppet masters outlawed abortion so we have more people being born in America?
34 - Is this texting’s fault for our “collective” lack of skills around #32? I don’t think so. But, I do think texting definitely has some (MAJOR) downsides. https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/texting-really-ruining-personal-relationships-ncna1097461
From Section IV: *24 - I love summers!
SECTION VI, #35 - 37: On Parenting
35 - Being a parent to one kid takes a lot of work. But when you are a single parent to two kids, it's a compound interest in a totally different way.
36 - I love my kids, and wouldn’t trade them for the world! I’m so happy they get along so well, and are each other’s best friend!
37 - If you don’t want kids, believe me, you don’t need to explain to me why you don’t. Parenting takes a certain level of love and commitment that if you know you are not up for it, your contribution to society is by knowing who you are and living your best life, kid-free.
36 (Again) just so you know, I love my kids! I wouldn’t trade them for the world!
SECTION VII, #38 - 41: Life is temporary, make the most of it
38 - This world is moving way too fast sometimes, I literally have to find ways to slow it down.
39 - Structure and routine are actually even more important later in life just to make the most out of your finite time on earth.
40 - Writing has actually helped give me a handle on things in a way few other outlets ever possibly could.
41- Getting older is a blessing. The alternative is death.
FROM SECTION I: *5 - Never give up: In the classroom or in life
BONUS MATERIAL!!!!
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