Feeling Sick

10) Another deadly school shooting, and all leaders want to offer everyone are more "thoughts" & more "prayers"

If I were to rewrite Columbine and its aftermath: “23 year later”, I probably would have given an example of a man 23 years later, hearing the news of the latest “mass-shooting incident”. I think I was just hopeful something would replace the trauma we all feel from gun violence, 23 years after Columbine. 

Death toll in Texas elementary school shooting rises; 19 children, 2 adults killed by shooter - May 24, 2022

If I were to rewrite that piece, I probably would not have put the list of deadly plagues in America in any particular order. Although, the sheer destruction and trauma that gun violence has left on its victims, is felt far and wide, we still don’t fully know how much it truly impacts us. While Austin Eubanks (Oct 07, 1981 - May 19, 2019) “May God Rest His Soul”   didn’t die in Columbine on April 20th, 1999; Some make a compelling case that he should be eulogized among the victims of Columbine. 

There is so little I know from this story that obviously will be uncovered in the coming days and weeks. Yet, I’m exhausted, simply exhausted to hear of another mass-shooting. I’m tired of not being able to celebrate life for the sake of living. I’m tired of the fact that we conduct our lives as if the things we discuss and care about have little meaning or relevancy. 

I live in a Country of 300 million plus people, yet it seems less relevant today than it ever did. 

I’m tired of seeing how Gun Violence has touched on every aspect of American life. 

From Sandy Hook to Buffalo: Ten years of failure on gun control - May 22, 2022

I’m tired of the fact that I feel helpless in knowing that I work for a system that promotes health-and wellness for our children, that is often deemed a safer space for children then their own homes, and yet one man (yes it always has been a man, even if it is a little man with little self regard for himself, others or life itself) comes out and makes it a point to murder people to prove a point. 

But, what point is he making?! Why are so many of these people falling through the cracks? It’s as if there is a bug in our system, that is actually a feature.  I mean, how have we been okay with this for so long? And if we haven’t been okay with this, then why are we still letting this happen?

Mass Shootings Can Be Contagious, Research Shows - August 06, 2019

Is it as simple as not reporting news on this anymore? Are the copycats winning? I just am at such a loss. 

 -JPJ